Alone

It's rainy and sad today, weather I love, but emotions I'm scared of. I feel as if a month should be adaquate time to be over my last boyfriend, but it hasn't been. I miss him terribly and I hate admitting it, especially knowing that he probably has moved on. And I should know that wounds take time. Here's the thing...
He cheated on me. Within two weeks of the beginning of our relationship. I found out about three months in. And I didn't break up with him. And then he got bored. And told me that he was 50/50 on our relationship. And at that point, I knew I couldn't keep going that way. And I've been told that he doesn't deserve me. Or that I'll find someone better. But I feel as if it was so abrupt. And he closed that door on me so completely. And I wish I still had him in my life. But I feel like he thought I wasn't good enough.
None of this helped the self esteem issues that I have that he pointed out to me. People told me that they'll protect me if talking to him is too hard to handle. And I shouldn't miss someone who everyone thinks I need protecting from.
But I'm terrified of being alone...