Saturday, July 31, 2010

Three Times

Someone I work with thinks he's the only one who really works. He's full of crap. He also thinks Rush is the greatest band ever. Which is fine, more power to him. But he also thinks everything else sucks. Literally every song. I worked with him in the dish room today and literally everything that came on the radio he would find a flaw.
"Songs nowadays are only about sexuality and love."
WHO CARES! People LIKE songs about sexuality and love! They can relate!
He drove me so crazy, I honestly asked him to repeat what he had said so I could walk out of the room while he was talking. Three times. And I feel no shame.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Yesterday, Caitlin and I went to a movie, just us two. And it was great. I mean, I absolutely love it being the three of us, but it's like a huge flash back to when it was Caitlin and me.... And then Elyse and me. We went to make fun of Eclipse and took pictures in a picture booth on my phone, because the booth wasn't working. Then we went home and sang to songs when Dylan drove us home.
It was the first time ever that I thought maybe things might be okay when Elyse goes to college. Sure, I'll miss her a lot. But I think I can see myself still having fun at home.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Dreams and Shakespeare

So, small updates are my thing. I apologize.

Lately I'm having really weird dreams. Really weird, about homeless children and people getting upset that I get a job. I hurt my ankle at work, taking out the garbage. I'm not entirely sure how though.

I found some great Shakespearean quotes:

His kisses are Judas' own children.
Dear Lady Disdain!
Pluto and Hell!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry I wasn't enough.

I'm sorry I miss you still.

I'm sorry I can't move on.

I'm sorry I still cry in public.

I'm sorry I can't drink Cherry Coke.

I'm sorry I can't watch Office Space.

I'm sorry I feel lonely, but refuse to say something.

I'm sorry I wish you'd hurt her.

I'm sorry I hide behind books.

I'm sorry I never knew how to help.

I'm sorry I've fallen to my knees in defeat.

I'm sorry I listen to the CD and feel like I still have you.

I'm sorry I save messages of your apologies and missing me messages.

I'm sorry I want to erase you.

I'm sorry I still write you letters.

I'm sorry I kissed your scars.

I'm sorry I cried in front of you.

I'm sorry I snapped when you wanted to pay for coffee.

I'm sorry I helped you hurt her like you hurt me.

I'm sorry I have so much to apoligize for.


Sunday was the day of days. Elyse and I went up to campus and as we started to people watch, it also started pouring. So, did we run for cover? No, we danced and jumped and twirled.


I need to learn to let go. I feel more mad at myself than I do at those responsible. It's not my fault, but I feel like it is, like it will always be this way, that I'm not worthy of being loved or even cared about. I thought I was fun and pretty and witty and great

.But that was before they took everything

Saturday, July 10, 2010

1001 Nights

The Cherry Festival. Cherry Fest. Cherry Salsa, cherries, cherrie toppings, cherry pies.

Rides. 1001 Nights. Also known as Alli Baba.

I rode with Elyse, Drew, and Caitlin.
Up and around,
down and around.
Leaving my stomache behind.

Laughing, screaming, as my whole body whips around in ways it shouldn't.

Too fast to truly be scared. Too fast to think. Just that joyfully sick feeling floating through you.

I could live on that ride.

Anybody But Me

I want to be happy.
I want to be fun.
I want to be beautiful.

I want to be
Anybody but ME.


I don't think it's healthy to throw up 3 times before 9 a.m. But that doesn't stop me!
After work, I went to the cabin and slept until 1:20, 20 minutes before I had to babysit. Productive day...

Oooooh, I just realized how that sounded. I don't throw up on purpose. That doesn't stop my body from disobeying is what I meant.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Wild Goose Chase

On wednesday last week, I had guitar lessons. And behind that building, there was a park and a lake with benches and docks that extend a little over the water. Caitlin and I was there for a while and although it was cold, I was determined to spend time there. Even if there was duck and goose poop everywhere, we were careful.
When we went to look around, there were geese everywhere. And because Caitlin and I think they're beautiful, we took some pictures. Now, you need to know that she has not been around geese before. So I'd tell her not to get too close and guess what! She got to close. So it hissed at her, which she didn't notice.
"Caitlin! It's hissing!" I said. "You're too close."
"Okay, okay." She stepped away.
"I should have hissed back," she muttered. "It probably would have been intimidated.
"No, you're not getting into hissing matches with these geese."
She was silent.
Again, she stepped too close. Hiss.
"It's hissing Caitlin," I warned.
So, what did she do? Well, being Caitlin, she of course hissed back.
Was it intimidated? I wish. You know what happened?

This is what happened. It chased us. So we ran and as we ran, other geese hissed when we got too close. Did Caitlin hiss at them? I assure you that if she did, I would have tripped her and saved myself.

Friday, July 2, 2010


So, things are sorted out.
There's something wrong with me, I can't stop coughing lately. This has resulted in sore throat, loss of sleep, sore stomache, and once I have in fact thrown up.
I don't want to work tomorrow. Really don't. A lot.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Little Update

I don't have much computer time.
Basically, a long overdue phone call has yet to be received. O.o And frankly, it's driving me a bit insane.
I spend time working with my BFFs and "boyfriend", going to Borders for pricey coffee beverages that are oh-so-delicious, and watching movies. It's great, except I'm out of good books, but that's okay because I get paid tomorrow and I've racked up some pretty decent cash. So I'm rolling in the Benjamins. Yes, I realize that sounds gross, but it's so true. I'll be doing the money dance pretty soon. Oooooh yeeeeah.
Chilling with Cailtin, Elyse, Dylan, Drew, and James. Chatting with Kate, Carrie, Zak the Homie, Caleb, and Byron.
Good times keep rolling.