Saturday, September 4, 2010


I'll tell you about my grandmother. But only because I feel it gnawing at my mind....

Which would you rather:
- Have someone you love die.
- Have the same someone alive, but they don't know who you are and you can see their mind slipping.

Because I've dealt with both in the past month.

And I prefer the first.
Then I can pretend she knew me until the end.
And then I don't have to smile like it's okay when I can feel my body swell with the tears I hold behind my eyes.

I know I'm a bad person.


  1. you arent, kals. she would prefer the first one too. have you thought about that?

  2. I know she prefered the first, she told someone that before she was really bad. But I still feel guilty.

  3. you're NOT a bad person. She was going and there is nothing any of us could do. Think of how perfect it is that she's with grandpa and God now. Just think. It's a perfect ending. I love you. Don't worry, Dollface.