I'll tell you about my grandmother. But only because I feel it gnawing at my mind....
Which would you rather:
- Have someone you love die.
- Have the same someone alive, but they don't know who you are and you can see their mind slipping.
Because I've dealt with both in the past month.
And I prefer the first.
Then I can pretend she knew me until the end.
And then I don't have to smile like it's okay when I can feel my body swell with the tears I hold behind my eyes.
Which would you rather:
- Have someone you love die.
- Have the same someone alive, but they don't know who you are and you can see their mind slipping.
Because I've dealt with both in the past month.
And I prefer the first.
Then I can pretend she knew me until the end.
And then I don't have to smile like it's okay when I can feel my body swell with the tears I hold behind my eyes.
I know I'm a bad person.
you arent, kals. she would prefer the first one too. have you thought about that?
ReplyDeleteI know she prefered the first, she told someone that before she was really bad. But I still feel guilty.
ReplyDeleteyou're NOT a bad person. She was going and there is nothing any of us could do. Think of how perfect it is that she's with grandpa and God now. Just think. It's a perfect ending. I love you. Don't worry, Dollface.
ReplyDelete